At least once a week all over the world married people and serious couples get an invitation to a private  location. This location changes at random. It is a very well kept secret and they can smell a fraud a mile away, that is why no one has been able to infiltrate these meetings, and only now 40 years later suspicions are confirmed.

These meetings have only one goal  “how to save the single people”.

There are many of these underground groups all over the world, they go to great lengths to keep it hush hush. They don’t seem to have a secret handshake but there is an immediate camaraderie when they meet, even when they pass each other on the street, a brief eye contact is all that is required. A big give away is when you are in a room full of people and you are happily socialising and as you walk away you can faintly here your friends saying “Ag shame, she is such a nice girl”.

What I am realising is that the couples that have been married between one and seven years are the most active, they lead normal lives but most of their free time they take their quest seriously. Don’t be fooled some people are on this quest for most of their lives. I know a lady that is married for 38 years and is still at it. My parents were also a part of this movement but I think because they could not get rid of me they might have been disqualified. I would feel bad but I see it as peace for me and now my parents have more time to enjoy other things, like watching ERT (Greek channel on DSTV) win win for all.

Another tell tell sign of this group is that they cannot hear you. Maybe at the meetings they play very loud music, or their earphones are set at high frequency. I have no proof yet but this casual conversation below has lead me to believe the above comment.

FRIEND: I met a fantastic guy

ME: Hi, how have you been, good, is he a nice guy?

FRIEND: Sorry yes hi, he is a lawyer

ME: How are your kids?

FRIEND: He drives an SLK

ME: Do you know what you want to order?

FRIEND: Why are you not open???

ME: Because I am hungry

FRIEND: We can organise to go for coffee just so you can meet him, very casual

ME: I am going to Greece in two weeks I am so excited!!!

FRIEND: Would you like me to ask him to take you to the airport?

ME: When did you meet this terrific guy?

FRIEND: I met him in the lift in Sandton, and we were parked right next to each other. We spoke a little bit and he gave me his business card. I asked him if he was married he said NO, his perfect!!!!

After a lot of deliberation this is what I have concluded as the criteria required for the perfect match: 

FOR A GIRL: A guy that has shoes and is clean shaved...(basically any male)

FOR A BOY: A girl that wears high heels and a cheap bag so that he will know that she is not high maintenance but a down to earth kind of girl.

Here are few things that single people would like you to bring up at your next “meeting”

Single does not equal Loneliness: this is an emotion shared with self, therefore a married person can feel disconnected and experience loneliness at random periods of ones life. Think of it like a flu, it catches us by surprise and without judgment of status.

To be in Love: if I cannot feel love for being alive and count my blessings I will never truly know love. I know this sounds unreasonable to some, let me put it this way, to truly love someone for me is, when I do not want to change anything about this person and he feels exactly the same about me, and life just seems a bit more fun because we are in it together as a team.

We must procreate to ensure survival of our species: We should love the millions of children already here so that we can guarantee the survival of our species.

We the single people also enjoy:

1: That each of our actions don’t have to be discussed at great lengths.

2: That our phone conversations don’t start with “where you babes” and the most popular “what’s wrong baby?”.This one often escalates to a battle of WILLS (WILL you admit that you are wrong and I am right).

I would like to add that I am not against marriage in fact some of my favourite people are married.

What I am trying to say is that everything happens for a reason, and universal timing is impeccable. But rest assured when love comes knocking-we are not obnoxious ..........we will open!!  

We managed to infiltrate one of these "secret meetings" .

Take a look at what happens...

If you have any more questions don’t hesitate to comment and I will get my people on it.

Melpo

You might like to read some of my previous blogs