Remember that daft game we played at school? - the one where you held out your left hand, got the other kid to look and then bonked him on the head with your right - remember? In today's South African socio-political landscape, that game's now a firm favourite - and the red herring left hand has a name: Malema.

It happens time and time again, as I've pointed out to untold juju-worriers that spend too much energy on an emotional adolescent with a a R100million diamond chip on his shoulder - Every time our beloved ruling party needs to sneak something past us quickly and quietly, it sets off a jujubomb that most will turn to look at, while mayhem goers on behind their backs.

Oh yes fine friends of our fading democracy - last week while we all looked left at juju's juggernaut of juveniles rampaging through Jozi, to the far right, the final fascist touches to the Protection of Information Bill were pushed through unhindered by the light of democratic openness, behind firmly closed doors. Yip yip! Hooray! The preparations of our very own Secrecy Bill were finished on Friday!  Now, after almost two arduous decades of the ANC having to suffer through the free speech it claims to have fought for, our country's governmemnt will soon be in a position to imprison journalists again. Hello Africa, tell me how you're doing!

Big Bob up North must be so proud! Bye bye press freedom; hello Apartheidesque legislation - not only targeting the media, but whistleblowers as a whole. Anyone read George Orwell lately?

And where is our beloved media on such occassions? Where are its eyes at the back of our heads that we count on not to be bamboozled by bollocks - meant to monitor and sound the alarm - to point out patently obvious ruses like this! Being sucker-punched as they watched wild youthful protest, is where - streaming live their oh so serious reports on ANCYL's antics and earnestly pondering on juju's future, while theirs and ours was being destroyed right in front of our noses.

This Bill that essentially muzzles government critics, was finalised undisturbed by a media spotlight, because our press - the schmucks that this affects the most - were made to look the other way at a bloated turd with authority issues. It wasn''t even such a clever trick! And in my opinion, it needn't have been - because with all due lack of respect, our press - the business that it now is - is clearly more interested in boosting audience numbers through sensationalism to sell ad space, than in actually tackling the more important, but less eyecatching-headline, issues. It's true - and this really is reason to panic - our watchdog's a tootless bandit more interested in bones than burglars. And now its own stupidity and paper-selling greed is allowing retards to muzzle it. 

Good lord; how far we've sunk!

So please, please, please - don't be a dumbass and fall for the jujutrick again. Ignore him and focus on signing any and every petition against the passing of the Protection of Information Bill. Parliament votes on it on the 15th of September, and unless its stopped before, the ANC's legislative majority will push it through. God help us literally, the African Christian Democratic Party is pertitioning JZ against it. This bill must not be allowed to passed into law! Our media aint much, but even dumb dogs deserve the right to howl at the government moon. We do!

And finally - a handy hint - so I can finally put Malemania to rest.

Next time a jujubomb goes off, look precisely in the opposite direction. You'll be shocked at what your government's trying to sneak by unnoticed!