Everyone talks about it. Books document it. Hell, a whole 12 seasons of a HBO show was all about it.
The One Night Stand.
Not that I am a pushover to peer pressure, but maybe I was a bit curious about the whole procedure. Being single proper for about 4 months, I grew curiouser and curiouser still…
I have enough grey matter to know a few things about myself and that sex without love is about as attractive to me as a face lift sans anaesthetic.
I’m fussy. If a guy so much has a stray nosehair, I have been known to bail. Nevermind the necessary chemistry and luuuurve x factor required to even share a lip-lock.
Is it just sheer desperation that makes people have one night stands?? Surely not. Lola Montez and Coco de Mer’s annual sales are evidence thereof. Quizzing my girlfriends, every single one of them has said something similar: they have never had a one night stand sober, and if it’s been someone they’ve had to see again, they’ve always regretted it. Yikes. Not my idea of fun.
Quizzing my guyfriends, they’ve all said something similar too: if they can get it, they’ll take it. Yeah, not my idea of fun either.
Eish. The whole scenario: what’s your name, do you come here often, do you have any diseases/spouses/children/criminal records I should know about?? Oh ok yes why not I’ll have a 13th apple martini, oh ok let’s go back to my place my housemate’s away, oh ok yes you can browse my entire CD collection…
What if it’s your house and they just won’t leave?? What if they brought handcuffs?? (My friends have told me stories; stop looking at me like that ok)
I don’t know. This whole thing sounds like the complete antithesis of what fun should be.
So there I am preaching on high about my wonderful moral values, my outstanding track record and prudential requirements of men… When I stumble upon a man with an accent, snakeskin boots, and a smile that would set a small city alight.
The stars were aligned, and so it came to pass. I had my first One Night Stand. BUT! Not in the typical sense of the word. No sex was to be had in this most unearthly experience. We shared 8 hours of amazing cuddling and it totally, completely filled my desired affection quota.
So maybe that’s what it’s all about. The yearning for physical contact. That pitifully just happens to end up in mediocre sex. I’m still not sure. All I know is that it took balls of steel for me to take someone home.
Balls he never got to see, of course.
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