“Oh no, we understand. You like men. You just like them to look a certain way and behave a certain way… Bearded, musician, successful arty types who have a great relationship with their mothers.”

Gay male says with sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

Me: “But…Well, we all do, right?”

Beautiful 23 year old man: “It’s the female version of misogyny. Misanderism. The hatred or dislike of males.”

Me: “Whaaaa? Miss Anderson who?”

It took a liberated 23 year old male drama student wearing skinny jeans and a grandpa cardigan to educate me on a trait I may (or may not) be hiding so well.

Oh no no no. He must be mistaken, I splutter. I have male friends, I love my Dad and my cousins, I invite my exes to my birthday parties, I scramble. I HAVE A BLOG DEDICATED TO THE IDOLATRY OF BEARDS, dammit, I fume.

The conversation had moved on but I was still reeling in limbo when I blurted out “BUT I LOVE MEN!!! I LOVE MEN VERY MUCH!!!”

Cue alarmed stares from the bar.

That snippet of conversation has had me pondering for hours. Could I be? Could I have become so jaded and *gasp* cynical that I find men a waste of time; worthy of contempt and dislike? I feel like someone has told me my zip has been open for months while I’ve been trotting around completely oblivious- have I metaphorically been hanging loose and embarrassing myself?!

I love conversations that spark shock and then deep contemplation.

I don’t hate men. At all. Sure, I’ve been disappointed a LOT in relationships. I think it’s a gauge of who you’re not supposed to be with; I didn’t get that a few years ago. But I’m pretty sure it had less to do with the fact that they were men, and more that they were people who I wasn’t so compatible with.

I don’t fantasise about making men lick my shoes and I’d be the last person to sigh “typical male”. God knows I’ve dated enough to know there sure ain’t no ‘typical’.

It’s easy to be the kind of person who refuses to take feedback. I try really hard not to be. Unless it’s the “hey Cands you look terrible in leopard print” kinda feedback, then I’ll just flat out ignore you.

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