How you know your jeans are perfect:

A: When you can button them with ease.

B: When you sit and there is no plumber in site...(see p.s. below)

C: After a meal they remain zipped and breathing is as it was before the burger.

D: When the low crotch new style jean still allows you to climb and descend stairs in a forward stride         and not in a side step as if you are making a Fred Astaire black and white musical.

E: When you are not using the bottom of your jeans as a red carpet (roll them up or have them                 tailored).

F: Make sure you have enough holes to be cool, and not too many as if you have been in a car                 accident.

PLEASE NOTE: if your jeans are 80% stretch elastic and 20% jeans.....they are not jeans.

P.S. If the jeans that you love are slightly lower in the Jennifer Lopez department, it is still fine, a little crack never hurt anybody...... but if too much, then rather wear a dress...