Everyone knows it. I’ve been shouting it from the rooftops for months. Being single is just about the best thing since sugar free ice cream.

Imagine my surprise then, sitting with a friend whom I’ve known for, like, ever and has been one of my dearest male friends and someone I can’t imagine not having in my life…. And finding myself strangely, disturbingly, scarily daydreaming about what it could be like to date him.

Oh my God, am I losing my mind? Is this what it’s come to?

I think the expression on my face must’ve scared him- in the middle of our deep and meaningful conversation about the latest Black Keys CD, he stopped and looked at me and said “Babe, are you ok?” (my mind was having a serious tug of war between seeing him cooking me dinner and what he looked like in varsity with that stupid cap perched on his head) “Err YES! I’m ok, sorry, uhm, can you repeat the question?”…

Please forgive me for any glib assertions that men are not 100% as intuitive as women. I stand corrected. My beautiful boy, always sms-ing me a few times a month, must’ve smelled a rat. I started caring more about what I said. (No more “Bayyyyybe!! I mish you. I luff you. You sush a good friend to me”) It was more inane, since I realised I actually had about a decade’s worth of bad behaviour to tidy up. “Hello and good day. Here’s hoping you have a terrific Wednesday. Thanks & Regards”

Yep. He cottoned on, alright. I messed up, baaad.

There’s a huuuuuuge monumental difference between being yourself and putting your best foot forward, I’ve learned.

I was about to tell Two Decade Manfriend how much I loved him, exactly, when he sms’d me and said:

“My darling Dici. I’m going to China for 2 months. Hugs and chat when I get back xoxo”

It was all I needed to be brought back down to Planet Earth. Call me fickle (one friend suggested I meet him at the airport with flowers! Madness!), but, if he was in any way, shape or form having the same thoughts (of what it would be like to see each other more often; stroll along the beach hand-in-hand, etc), he would have said something. He’s not dumb. He knows me better than most. Instead of opening the can of possible-relationship worms, he chose to do the most intelligent thing: fly to Asia.

Thank you, Taboo Boy, for saving us from ourselves and keeping our amazing friendship just that.