JimmiJagga came to Melville a few nights ago to punt their wine cooler.  

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It was an embarrassing nightmare 

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Let me tell you how it went down. A quite attractive blonde woman came to our table at Cafe Mexicho and asked us whether we would like to try their beverage.  I thought it strange that she didnt go inside first to speak to the manager, but perhaps he/she had already been consulted. We had a look at the drink and though the packaging is classless and tacky, we were fairly receptive until I looked at one that was described as "Red Wine and Plum"  and I passed it to a friend and said "that sounds bad for me"

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I said it because it sounds like RED WINE WITH PLUM JUICE!! It sounds like I will need to rip my tongue off the floor of some shithole club in midrand at some sort of unholy hour. Then we noticed that there were about 5 other people hovering over our table, like vultures they descended upon me when I said that. Without so much as a "hey man I am Mike Hunt from JimmiJagga would you mind if I asked you about that statement". He just crouched next to my friend and called out to me to answer why I thought it was bad for me. That got my hackles up and I told him, quite clearly that I was having a chilled evening with friends and didnt want to be marketed AT. I mentioned that I was happy to try his drinks but please, again, dont marketing talk me. He stepped away briefly, unperturbed some other moron then thought it wise to come to me to show pictures of the Jimmijagga LimoTaxi which is exactly what you think it is. Again i said "please man dont do this, I dont want to see this, leave me alone." 

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"Why" he says.

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My friend then very graciously dealt with looking at the goddam pictures on the ipad. It seemed like it might be over. Oh no, no yet. They still needed to come visit us in their LimoTaxi and display the EPIC sound system banging out house tracks. I sat fuming knowing that I would say and do something douche-like. So I relaxed, and started planning this assault.

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Something we should be aware of is that this wine cooler is named for Mick Jagger and James Dean.

Let me repeat that... MICK JAGGER and JAMES DEAN.  What? Can you possibly imagine those two legends going near a tacky, vile classless drink like that? I mean sure, Mick might have profited carnally from such a drink, but to actually imbibe it. Never.

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The final nail in the Coffin of JimmiJagga was when my friend (as you will hear in thisvideo) called out to them to get some "street cred"  they went around the block and shouted through the LimoTaxi Loud Hailer "If you want some street cred, go to Truth this Saturday"

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Truth. Really?