A couple of years ago I was feeling sorry for myself-I can't even remember why, that’s how ridiculous my problems are. But even so, when your smile is missing, you will do anything to get it back. How I get over hiccups is I write myself letters from my inner self to my outer self, 'outer self' also goes by the name 'ego'.
Please note I don’t have a photographic memory, I have a pile of little books that I write my thoughts in. I don’t know when I started doing this, but I can honestly say talking to myself has been some of my greatest conversations.
This is how one of my letters began...
“What is it that frightens me?...CHANGE….yet change is what I crave...The UNKNOWN…yet this is what I want to learn from. Fear is my way forward and at the same time my shackles on my feet. What can I lose, when everything that’s sacred is inside of me-the best part of me.
I am always at the exact place that I am suppose to be, and everywere I dare to go I should be fortunate to learn what I am supposed to see. To do this I must change my perspective...a small change is a ripple that can change everything.
Since there are no chance meetings, who I meet on my travels is a friend in a way, and if my heart is open I will see the perfection of this blessed reunion, however long, however brief. Even the guy at the coffee counter that I will never see again could have a message for me. Does it cost me more for the coffee if I sincerely smile at him?.
People need different things from each other, Love, Respect, Attention, Recognition…again all I can give is an open heart, and if I desire something in return, then my heart is not that open. We are always in conflict with our ego. We justify our actions whether good or bad until we don’t sound that bad, because we say to ourselves, it is okay “because he did that” and “she said this”.
I want you to know your actions is what interests me, if our feeling is in Joy then our instinct automatically acts the same way. I have seen people that have nothing, and when they smile at you, you realize that they have everything. Feeling sorry for myself is one of my silly habits that serves nothing but empty tears. So stand up Melpo and put your earphones on, listen to Anna Vissi and start counting your blessings…because you have many”.
And this my friends was what kick started me into a reasonable explanation about the perfection of life...which brings me closer to my quest for peace of mind.
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