So many times. So many times I’ve said to a friend: “He’s just not that into you.”

When the shoe’s on the other foot it ain’t so comfy, hey?

I am lucky enough to have male friends who keep it real.

“Cands… no. I’m sorry you dry-cleaned your Marilyn Monroe outfit and made your Engagement Chicken. He is JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.”

Too real.

So I have a lovely friend who will henceforth be known as “Ho…

Available. Online. Awake. Had a bagel for breakfast. Last seen at 11:32am, crossing High Level Road, Sea Point.

So I recently downloaded WhatsApp so I could be in touch with my besties in China and Australia.

Only thing is, your whole bloody phonebook has it. And you have to see their stupid bloody statuses.

(By the way, confronting that your 80 year old landlord has it, huh??)

So I made the fatal error of messaging a…